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This video is pure gold. Thank you so much. ❤

***** @2:02 @2:28 #1 - @2:38 ... @3:07 @3:20 @3:23 @3:28 @3:35 ..... #2 --- @4:00 @4:05 @4:11 @4:20 @4:25 .,. #3 --- @4:35 @4:45...….@5:00 @5:10 ..... #4 --- @5:30 @5:44 @6:00 #5 --- @6:15 @6:29 @6:35 @6:42 @6:57 @7:00 @7:07 @7:16 @7:35 @7:49 @00:18 @00:45 @00:53 @00:57 @1:05 @1:07 @1:11 @1:31 @1:35 @1:43 @1:48 @1:55 @2:02 @2:20

I have never seen him as bad, seemingly for no reason at all, as this moment. Never forgetting how empty and hard life without him was before, ut is hard to imagine complaining, even to the Lord. I tried to just avoid him when he gets like this, but he actually came with more. I was already tearing and I could not hold back any longer, and said I did not understand ehy he was so upset All you get is denial. As for separation, we have been through that for the best part of a decade, and it isn't the answer. I can only, and we can only work on ourselves, especially in the area of being right in and if ourselves, and drawing closer to God than to vices or God forbid, other people.

Thank you so much for validating my situation 🙏

So important to understand that there really is no hope if they don't want to put the work in to change. Hanging around just waiting hoping for nothing. Thank you Dr David for helping me let go

Im permanently disabled and in severe chronic pain. Then I am never spoken to in a loving way. Im lonely. He always moves the goalpost on what I have to do or we will never have a normal marriage . He is snarky, or demeaning or leaves me lonely. There hasn’t been any love or any touch whatsoever for more than 10 years. No physical abuse though. What advice would you give me here. I don’t seem to be able to please him and he doesn’t look at me as a spouse….

I need u

Thank you both for speaking about trauma and coping. Maybe soul wounds. God bless you both 🙏🙏🕊🕊 I read on the webside for your recovery center that you, Dr. David, are a speaker & trainer for the American Association of Christian Counselors. Such important work.

You always talk about npd men! Women can be narcs too!

My husband has refused to say I love you or even touch me in a month but when we're in public, he calls me pet names. Even asked me what I wanted in a shop, I told him what I wanted, he kept pointing to something else. I said again what I wanted and he pointed to what he wanted. I stopped talking and he looked between me and the clerk and said " I can see I'm irritating you so I'll just leave you to it ... And the clerk just looked at me very confused.

Learned behaviour....evil teacher...🤷‍♀️

What you’ve said about “the church” is unfounded and offensive.

Impossible odds that all narcissists have almost identical traits if it is a learned behaviour. Levels of intelligence, DNA and family dynamics make permutations infinitive. It has to be a demonic spirit that takes over and occupies their lives because odds of such overwheming similarities in behaviour are mathematically impossible.

Narcissism is a built-in self-defense mechanism that is "Installed" into the personality in the development years between the ages of 0-9 Years old due to a lack of control environment (Physical, s*xual, or verbal abuse are just some examples of this) & a genetic predisposition towards narcissism... This video is inaccurate .. There is NO cure for a person with NPD. It is "Engrained" into their personality and can not be uninstalled. It is a self-defense mechanism installed into their personality and makes them hypersensitive to the threat to control. They NEVER want to go back to the "Small child" who is being abused and the narcissism is built into their personality as a "Self-defense" mechanism to protect them from never EVER letting this happen to them again. Not saying all children who have been abused are narcissists when they are adults..... The genetic predisposition also has to be there for the narcissist to be formed as an adult. Both of the "Key components" have got to be there. 1) A lack of control environment in the development years between the ages of 0-9 Years old 2) A genetic predisposition towards narcissism (It can skip a generation so if a person has a narcissistic parent this does not always mean the offspring will have this trait)

I think it is because it everywhere and society does not want to face up to it and 'interfere' 'validate' or 'empathise' and indeed in so doing almost implicitly condones it. Very powerful and empowering video from someone who understands the complexity from years of experience.

I hope you are going to talk about the other side of financial abuse .....the non working spouse that "forces" the woman into being a breadwinner while he plays video games and squanders away all the income that is being earned solely by her. She's also doing all the housework and suffering massive financial and emotional stress. Been there done that. Now over and totally understand the abuse I faced. This is much more common than is discussed. ..this dynamic is often ignored.

Give up hope dont go there !!!

Add me to the short list of Men with emotionally abusive women. A lot of comments here seem to come from the women with emotionally abusive men. I wonder if it really is that skewed ..that most women are not emotionally abusive...or just that men don't come out and seek help. There is a look I and the children know that her family or friends don't. Contempt + resentment. Her family and friends aren't exposed to it. She is so much nicer to her sisters than she ever is to me. Her sisters acknowledge my sacrifices and efforts far better than she ever does. Just feels like I'm being run down to the ground. I'm working more hours (60+/week) just to stay together longer for kiddos sake. Less abuse if I'm not home. She seem to like it that way. One day after noticing the piled up dirty dishes while she is lying in bed about mid day, I washed em all. Washed our laundry, cooked three dishes, handled the kids...and reassured her she had the bigger job at home and not to worry (I am the solo bread winnerat the moment). Next day on the phone, I made a comment regarding our little one just to have her hang up on me. I can't share my ideas without her getting super defensive, specially if it isn't something that praises her. If it's critical or a different idea than hers, I stress how to present it to avoid the blow up....even then she still blows up most of the time. At this point I have been effectively shut up so many times I don't even speak my mind. I just let it all go as much as I can. It's all messed up these behaviors show up after the kids. I wouldn't deal with it for a day otherwise. I have no problem living single.

This discussion is somewhat confusing . Experiencing trauma does not excuse abuse. My husband was raised with very good and loving parents and he turned out a narcissist.

But covert narcissist do that behind closed door they seem nice outside yes they too suck all the energy but in a woo is me type of way

The other day I watched a video about the late actor named Marlon Brando. Perhaps he was narcissistic is putting things mildly. Didn't stop a whole lot of women from feeling in love with him without acting upon it. For example when women in love with him would at the time be helping him tear apart his latest woman he was trying to discard at the time like when trying to take her infant child away from his first wife only because she wanted to divorce him after finding out he had had a homosexual 'affair' on her once in addition to affairs with other women too probable only because the guy had looked feminine enough to Marlon Brando alone at the time. Barbara Streisand on that video who admitted that she only felt in love with him while not acting upon that too. Someone who has a high number of narcissistic traits in their personality sometimes make the best puppets for people in that kind of power dynamic called narcissism who are superior to the narcissist whom a woman is in love with at the time. Near the end of his life he tried to change when it was staring to feel too late to make a change. That is why he became obese after staring in the movie called, "The God Father" which may have been a turning point in his life to some degree. Obesity in itself is not clear evidence that someone experiencing it is committed to being narcissistic.

WOW! SOUNDS SO FAMILIAR!!

It's almost impossible not to talk over people during zoom calls. That and the long silences are just par for the course.

I found this video to be a great synopsis of the situation but did not find any concrete solutions or even suggestions on how to change it.

I cant say this enough narcissisim is a choice. Been through this shit show 33 years experienced it

After 8 years, I felt like I was dying. I felt worthless and invisible. A ghost.

I was under the assumption that empathy could not be learned.

Of course it's in the DNA of women.

Women married to narcissists havent lost themselves but they hadnt found themselves even before marriage.

Narcissist can’t change and that is such harmful and disgusting information to put out!

Been through all of this and much more. Stayed out of guilt, felt all my fault. Been married for over 50 years. Praying for God to help me to get away from him. Financially not easy.

Confusion is The Plan - In order to Cover Up their Malevolent Perversion - in order to continue Control to get their Kicks and More Over Psychologically Take over the Victims Mental Health. It is Truly Insidious !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pretty much describes my marriage after 8 years. Constant rows, like I'm presumed guilty and have to prove my innocence/how much I contribute, like I'm on trial despite me being the main earner. My wife will go gambling till 6 in the morning on a Saturday night and spend the whole of the next day in bed and I say nothing. She left her office job and now works very part time as a home help, comes home and accuses me of not pulling my weight and she is more deserving because she has a 'physical job', so now she's created a hierarchy of occupational worthiness. I can't sleep or turn on my computer without being accused of laziness, despite being the main earner and paying all the bills. I point this out after being accused of not pulling my weight and she will make out I'm the one who's keeping score, when in practice I'm defending myself, which I shouldn't have to do. She will think nothing of making comparisons with 'better' husbands, saying what other people might have said about me behind my back etc. Personal insults, mockery. I'm just working out the most practical and least disruptive way to split.

Covert Narcissist's may be more hidden and difficult to spot.

Women can have all of these traits, too, and this kind of abuse doesn't only happen in marriage relationships.

9:19 The missing piece of this conversation (although a great one) is the purpose of narcissists in the lives of victims and the lesson the victims get about the dependency of their identity or they would never feel hurt by narcissistic discard. They are a match. Dr. Carter has a different approach to the topic but not the one I appreciate, love is a concept and there is no any conformity in a healthy relationship right? Wrong! There's unconditional love but a relationship is about compatibility too. This seems to me that dr. Carter wants to be adored because he wants unconditional acceptance which is the negation of conflict and not the resolution of conflict. 41:20 "Mother me, mother me, oh please mommy, where are you to make this easy!"

I think part of it is DNA. Personality does get passed on.. But you can chose how you treat ppl

Can my husband withdraw money from home equity without my signature? I am on the deed but not on the loan. I just discovered he’s been applying for a home loan but don’t they need my signature?

My marriage to my wife is a case study in emotional neglect. All the gurus advise to “take care of yourself, get a hobby, seek out friends, etc.”. But I’m in a marriage that is a “one way street,” where I’m supposed to be emotionally supportive & get nothing back until I finally explode. I love my wife but I did not sell my home and quadruple my daily commute just to be contractually tied to another person who treats me like an afterthought & has no time to build our life. I am successful , fit & attractive. I want to have a life with my wife & do not want to divorce or become a cheater. But how can I stay with someone who puts nothing into this relationship emotionally or physically? I am tired. I want a companionship, & all the things that should come with it (not just sex), from my wife. She thinks everything is fine & that I’m needy. Will she wake up when I finally take up having coffee dates & long walks with other women. I did not get married to be an afterthought or burden. I’m getting tired of living without emotional connection & touch. It is turning me into an angry, bitter person I never was before in my life. I love my wife & have given my all for her and her family, but I can’t hold onto this much longer. It’s killing me inside.

Apparently everyone's a male narcissist.Have you ever seen a female narcissister?I lived with one for thirty-some years

I met my narcissist wife.When she was 22 years old, she's always tried to control everything. I'm 62, she is 64.We are getting a divorce finally

The lady on the lower right Acts like narcissist are all male That's not right

Everything was spot on, yet in such a long podcast I'd expected you to tap on many aspects/examples of financial abuse within a relationship, not just one. It keeps us with a sense of 'lack'.

Thank you for this. I'm watching the whole series now.

I like the way you explain things. It has really helped me. Thank you🙏

Can you explain what happens to the body when this happens.

She mentions abuse works...until it doesn’t. Eventually she will leave and he will be lonely.

I get I don't care as a cancer. I'm realizing after 50 years I'm being used.

When you said the part about feeling crazy.... It raised the hair on the back of my neck. I just said to my sister last week the exact words. Oh, I know my partner is emotionally abusive, but those words validated my feelings. I can't leave my situation. I've tried and failed several times. I'm learning after 2 years how to survive. But just when I think I've got it figured out, he throws a curve ball. Thanks for the videos and sharing your knowledge.

I believe that we fight against principalities and demonic, spirits, and people can open doors to allow the spirits in, and it is the spirits that have the same type of behaviors, which is the common to kill, steal and destroy. Unless they wake up and ask God to heal them, and seek the help and renounce the spirits. This is what they will battle with. It does sound like they all went to the same College, and none of them ever met each other. Thank you so much both of you and I really enjoy your programs. God bless you from Cynthia Ann in JANESVILLE, WI